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Perhaps they are sincerely trying to assess the level of risk they might be taking. In my more hedonistic days — which admittedly were not exactly long ago in a galaxy far, far away — I was dumbstruck by the conversations I would have in gay public sex venues, even the most anonymous ones. ” would come the question by the gentleman who was fully prepared to engage in unsafe sex should my answer please him. ” I would then explain, spoken at times through a three-inch hole in the wall, that if this question was his sole criteria, then he really needed to leave this place and go directly to an HIV and STD testing center. Can we please remove this insulting, dangerous and unproductive question from our lexicon? You can simply offer your HIV status and see if your partner does the same.